Paul Haarman: 10 Tips for Starting a Blog In 2022

Here are 10 Tips for Starting a Blog in 2022:

1) Choose a blog name.

If you’re feeling ambitious, come up with a clever play on words so your readers have to read through half of your post before they realize what it’s called. Maybe you could call it Blog Slog or sister blog says Paul Haarman. If not, just pick a word that doesn’t mean anything and has no relation to the content of the site which is already catchy enough for SEO purposes.

2) Start writing immediately.

You don’t want to prime yourself by thinking about what you’ll write, because then when you finally do sit down at the computer you’ll be all writer’s blocked and nothing will come out (because like most people who write blogs, you’re insecure about putting yourself out there). Just write.

3) Make sure to include your personal story

For no reason other than people like reading the same stories over and over again. But make it interesting cause nobody wants to read about some boring dude who worked at an ad agency in Wisconsin or whatever; make up something cool like how you quit your job at NASA because you realized that you weren’t making a difference in this world (even though nobody will understand why this was important to you unless they watched Interstellar.) Also, pretend like your life started when you came up with the idea for your blog. Like everything before then was just preparation for what would eventually happen. Nobody knows that all of this happened before you were born.

4) Get real descriptive with your topics.

People love stories about things that actually happened to you, but they also love those same stories, even more, when you write as many details as possible. For example, instead of just writing “I watched Interstellar last night”, write a few hundred words about the plot and characters and how it made you feel… or maybe how you felt when you first saw all those trailers for Interstellar 5 months ago every day during lunch at work. Or what was going through your mind when they started playing the score from Inception in the theater right before Interstellar started (because everyone knows Hans Zimmer is a genius). People want every single detail available; they’ll know if it’s not 100% true cause either way everybody will be talking about it says Paul Haarman.

5) Pretend you have good taste in film, music, art, etc. but only when blogging.

You don’t actually need to listen to that much new music or watch that many new films in order for this to work. Just write about shit you think is cool even though lots of people have already heard of it and call yourself a trendsetter or ahead of the times or whatever… nobody will care enough to look up whether any of these things are true or not. And if they do, make sure everything late-night café in your city has an indie band play every single weeknight at 8 pm so you can say you go there all the time (because why else would you live in a city if you don’t go to those places).

7) Write about whatever makes you angry.

People love this because everyone already knows what they like and hate (even if it’s something as dumb as fries with no vinegar but lots of ketchup), so it’ll make them feel like they’re on the same level as you even though it has nothing to do with your site whatsoever. Plus, if people know that you hate whatever is popular or whatever most people like (i.e. Game Of Thrones), then they won’t realize that all of your posts are basically copied from other blogs who write about the exact same stuff cause most sites run with similar enough content anyhow… Right? Right?!

8) Be self-deprecating.

This is pretty much the same as point 7, so just do that one twice and you’re fine.

9) Hire an “intern” to write for you on a regular basis (and don’t pay them).

Make sure to only hire someone who has about 50 followers on social media (preferably twitter because everybody reads those articles first); that way it’ll look like they actually know what they’re talking about even though it’s all recycled information from some other site… this will be your saving grace if anybody ever calls you out, plus nobody knows any of their interns anyway! Plus it won’t matter if they never go back to edit anything or even send the over in the first place, as long as you say a bunch of nice things about them on your blog says Paul Haarman. If nobody ever calls this out, then keep doing it every week with the same person over and over again until they find someone better!

10) Write as many posts as possible in a day even if most of them are garbage.

In case anyone doesn’t know, “content is king”, so the more content you post for free on your site, the more people might eventually click those little affiliate links and buy something or come back to read more later and that’s good enough, for now, cause nobody will actually read any of it anyway says Paul Haarman.

Conclusion:

Remember, if it’s not online, then nobody will ever see it.

So get out there and blog as much as you can! It doesn’t really matter what or how long or even where… just do whatever works for you! And never forget: write first, edit later (if at all), and don’t feel bad about plagiarizing other people’s work until somebody finds out and calls you out on it… But since everybody steals from everyone else anyway, who cares?!

 

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