Paul Haarman- 7 Tips for Overcoming Adversity without Stress or Fear

 Here are 7 Tips for Overcoming Adversity without Stress or Fear:

1) Remember that adversity can be a creative force in your life.

It forces you out of the status quo and allows for new thinking to garner fresh insight explains Paul Haarman. In addition, if handled well, it often leads to great personal growth and transformation. [Note from Mark: I recommend reading The War of Art for making peace with the idea that there’s no such thing as an empty page or clean canvas. If you’re in a creative field, it is inevitable that resistance will rise up and treat you like an adversary.]

2) Envision your fears becoming obsolete.

The fear of lack seems to be what keeps us locked into our current state. We are afraid we won’t have enough money, love or recognition if we were to change things around. So what? We don’t need much to live on; simply living on less than we make can easily free us from financial stress (and allow us never again to work at a job we hate). Love is available through family, friends other friendly connections. Nobody needs to be famous to live a happy life.

3) Let go of the “need” for certainty.

The need for answers before you try something new is what can keep us dissatisfied with our lives, even when we have everything we could possibly want. Think of the desire for answers as sort of like an addiction. The more answers you get, the more questions spring up in their place and the more addictive it becomes to seek extra-analytical information on your present situation (in order to stave off anxiety). You don’t need all the answers; you just need enough direction that will allow you to act on your instinctive wisdom (passion/intuition). [Note from Mark: This is similar to my point about the search for meaning. If you’re looking for it, it will never appear. On the other hand, if you act with meaning, you’ll find that the insights follow.]

4) Decide which is more important: perfection or progress.

It’s often our fear of making mistakes (and therefore appearing imperfect to others), prevents us from taking necessary risks and moving forward in life says Paul Haarman. Fortunately, once we start to make decisions based not on the fear of error but rather on our desire for fulfillment, we quickly realize that progress made no matter what level of perfection has been achieved is so much more gratifying than any false sense of security perfection might have provided. [Note from Mark: This idea comes up again and again when discussing courage. In order to be courageous, you have to stop worrying about what others think of you.]

5) Stop over-thinking everything.

In many cases, what we’re most afraid of in life doesn’t even happen. And when it actually does, our fear rarely comes close to matching the actual event. Over-thinking a situation or idea can therefore prevent us from experiencing a potential opportunity in real time and taking advantage of the possibilities right in front of us. [Note from Mark: These ties nicely with my post on action vs thought.]

6) Just remember that every obstacle provides an opportunity for growth.

Every experience has something valuable to teach us; it’s just up to us to extract that lesson so we can use it to our benefit. If we’re able to overcome adversity and move forward in life, we can take satisfaction not only from the accomplishment itself but also from the knowledge that such an achievement was made possible by overcoming challenges and obstacles along the way. [Note from Mark: This is the idea behind all of my “you got this” posts.]

7) Learn to be more comfortable with your uncomfortable feelings.

It’s easy to want to change how we feel if we find ourselves in an emotional state that makes us feel uncomfortable or out of control (such as anger, sadness or fear). However, just because we may not enjoy experiencing such feelings doesn’t mean they aren’t necessary for some reason. They real and telling us something about what we need to do in order achieve a certain goal or gain a particular insight explains Paul Haarman. The only way we can truly learn from such feelings (and get past them) is by allowing ourselves to feel uncomfortable for awhile and accepting these emotions as normal, necessary and even valuable aspects of our lives. [Note from Mark: This is why I always try to structure my posts so that they cover the benefits of an idea before detailing how it can be applied.]


The 7 Simple Truths That Can Change Your Life:

The biggest obstacles in life are the ones we create for ourselves. Sometimes this happens unconsciously; but once we become aware of it, we can easily eliminate such barriers (at least on an intellectual level) and move forward towards our goals with a much greater sense of purpose.


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